Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
