its not stalking. its research.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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