your thong is hanging out like whoa
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
