How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
