I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
