Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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