Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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