her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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