i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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