I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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