i wish my penis had a tongue
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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