you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize