I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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