walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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