Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I forgot how hot balto sounded
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
