i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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