I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize