He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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