So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
what is it with giant penises always finding me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
