I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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