There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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