you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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