Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I will be naked everywhere
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
