A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
