Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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