I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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