I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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