I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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