my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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