when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
