Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
