she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
