Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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