Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
