you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
