You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My balls are so social today.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Randomize
