I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
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