We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
