I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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