At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
