so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
