I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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