Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
