Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize