I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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