Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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