it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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