i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
