I got chris browned last night
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
