My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
