i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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