u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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