It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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