This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
