its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
