forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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