It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
