if you like me you must not know who I am
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
