Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
