I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
